The World Around Santee

My name is Santee and I would like you to know that although our lives are like a roller coaster ride, we can make it through anything it may not seem like it at the time, but we can. Our life experiences allow us to be able to help others that will be or are going through similar circumstances. The problem behind our situations is that some of us are afraid to speak about it for whatever reason, and I am not judging anyone on their reasons. I just want you to know that by the grace of GOD, I am able and am willing to speak on my experiences as well as poor choices. Many times, we go through certain challenges and we think there is no way out, but I beg to differ. I am so happy that GOD has blessed me by placing someone in my life that is willing to tell my story, as I am willing to share. Denise Ballard has written a book entitled, "Bruised, Just Not Broken." She has gathered my memories, thoughts, and secrets and placed them on paper for the entire world to read, and I am not ashamed nor do I feel any guilt for doing so.

Understand that me being given away at birth was only the beginning of what the future held for me. I had circum to my inner demons. I grew up embracing anger, defying love, and playing with death. I constantly cried out for help, but no one was listening to the silent teardrops, they were ignored. I felt alone and abandoned and because of this, I am going to allow you into my world; a world filled with past secrets that I hid for many years ad vowed never to reveal, but I realize it is time. These secrets followed me through my childhood and persisted into my adulthood. I struggled through life's experiences with little or no guidance and because of that, I made decisions that consumed my entire being. I became tired, listless, and angry with the world and myself. The constant ride through the depths of hell and not knowing, which will end first, the ride or the excruciating pain that followed it was enough to make me want to hurt myself, but I knew that was not the solution. I had to think of something to do so writing became my outlet. I needed to begin to heal because it became a slow death that consumes every blood vessel and every cell within my soul. The way I was feeling HELL would have been a vacation.